If you were gay
by Ume sama
Summary: Natsuki is in the closet and Mai wants her out, find out how she gets her to admit. Rated for content and 'language'. Enjoy the humor.


**Okay, so my beta and I needed a laugh, and I was going to put up some outtakes from My New Roommate, but I don't know if anyone would want to read them.**

**Anyway, I got this idea from a youtube video. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-otome or the video 'If you were gay'.**

_OK, OK, I know this is from Avenue Q (A broadway musical), but this idea came from a youtube video. People don't believe me. So I will post the link with the story._

_**(put youtube .com before it without spaces. It doesn't want to copy paste) /watch?v=vmcFedQbDb4**_

**Thanks, and please Read and Review.**

* * *

Blue blurred through the halls of the Garderobe dorms, yearning to get in the comfort of her own dorm. Once she reached her destination, she slammed her door closed, her back pressing against it as she sighed.

"God, finally." She looked down at the magazine in her hand. "An afternoon alone with my motorcycles. No class, studying, or giggling classmates." She strode over to her bed, stripping her sweatshirt, shoes, and socks, leaving her in a tank top and gym shorts. "And especially, no Shizuru and her teasing."

She leaned back against her pillow, laying along the wall behind her, next to her bed. A sigh of relief and happiness seeped out while she opened her magazine. She buzzed through the first two articles, the sun dancing along the walls as night grew near. Her roommate had a pass for the day, and wouldn't be home for another hour.

--

She turned the page as the door to the room opened up, her roommate walking in.

"Oh, hey, Natsuki," gleamed the busty redhead.

"Hey, Mai." Her eyes never left the page.

Mai dropped her purse on her bed as she plopped backwards on her bed, closing her eyes for a bit. Then she jolted up with exciting news.

"Hey, Natsuki. You'll never believe what happened to me at the market today. This girl was smiling to me, and talking to me," giggled the redhead.

"That's very interesting," the blunette growled.

"She was being_ real_ friendly with me." A smile graced the redhead's lips. "I think she was coming on to me, heh. I think she thought that I was _gay_." Her eyes bulged at the last word.

The raven-haired beauty's fists crumpled the sides of her magazine, and she cleared her throat. "S-so, why are you telling me this? It's not like it had anything to do with me. I don't care. So, what did you buy while you were out?" Hesitance was clearly present in her voice.

"You didn't have to get all defensive-"

"Oh, forget it. Why do I care about some gay girl you met? We meet them all the time here." She glanced up to see a playful grin plastered on her roommate's face. "Look, I'm trying to read." She tapped the magazine with the back of her hand, emphasizing her point.

"Hey, hey" The redhead's hands flew up in defense. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Natsuki let out a "Hmph" and went back to reading.

"Oh, alright, but if you ever want to-"

"This conversation is over," hissed Natsuki.

"But-"

"Over!" snarled the green eyed wolf.

--

The next day, the two roommates sat in the library, both studying for an exam. Natsuki was feverishly copying and recopying her notes while Mai watched with an ever playful grin.

"Just so you know, Natsuki." She leaned forward so that she could whisper. "If you were gay, that would be okay."

"Not that again," growled the blunette.

"What? It's true. It wouldn't matter; I'd like you anyway," reasoned the redhead.

Natsuki slammed her fist against the table, drawing everyone's attention. "I'm not gay!!" she screamed, face fuming with anger and irritation.

"Kruger," spoke the tall gray haired woman behind her. "You need to refrain from yelling in the library, no matter what your declaration may be."

Natsuki whipped around to bow to Miss Maria, expression suddenly turning serious. "Yes, ma'm. Please excuse the outburst."

"Very well. I'll let this one slide, seeing how you seem a little on edge lately with all the stress, but in the future, keep in mind it is not proper Otome behavior to yell."

The blue haired girl bowed again. "Yes, ma'm. I will." With that, miss Maria walked away.

Natsuki turned around to face her snickering roommate, who couldn't help but add, "You know, if it were me, I would be free to say that I was gay.. But I'm not gay."

"That's enough out of you." The raven haired girl gathered her papers and fled the building, brow still twitching.

--

Back in the dorm room, Natsuki sat at her desk rereading her notes when Mai came back. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Mai walked to her bed and sat down, facing Natsuki's back. After a few minutes of the silence, Natsuki couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT?!" she bellowed, whipping around in her chair.

"If you were a lesbian..." Mai began.

"Mai!! That's enough." She turned back around to her books.

"...I'd still be your friend..."

"Stop it. Can't you see I'm trying to study?!" the annoyed Natsuki whined.

"Because you're dear to me..."

"Mai.." warned the raven haired girl.

"I know you would accept me too." Mai placed a welcoming hand on Natsuki's shoulder.

"I would?" she whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

"If I told you that I was gay, but I'm not gay," Mai giggled.

"ARGH!!!" Natsuki screamed, slamming her book shut and storming out into the hall way, Mai close on her heels.

--

In the halls, their classmates scattered out of the way of the angry Number 2 Coral and the shadowing Number 1 Coral.

"You know I'm just happy, hanging with you."

"Go bug someone else, will you!" hissed Natsuki, who was starting to climb the empty staircase.

"What does it matter, what you do in bed with other woman?" The redhead snickered on the inside.

Natsuki stopped dead in her tracks and faced the grinning redhead. "Mai, that is just wrong. Will you stop it?!" she growled low enough so that no one else could hear.

"No it's not. It's part of being a woman..." She paused, watching the twitching brow. "You know, if you were gay..."

"Gah!" She threw her hands up in defeat and continued up to the Pearl dorms.

"It would be okay."

"I'm not listening," Natsuki sang.

"I will always be here for you." Mai stumbled over the last stair, chasing after the growling ice wolf. "Natsuki, I'll be here every step of the way."

"I know, you're following me," she spat out.

"It's okay to admit it; you were just born that way."

"Mai!!" Natsuki stopped and turned around, glaring down at her best friend.

"What?" Mai shrugged her hands up. "It's in your DNA. You can't help it; you're _gay!_"

"I'm NOT gay!" Natsuki threatened with a fist.

"If you _were_ gay..." Mai extended her hand to Natsuki's shoulder.

"ARGHHHHHH!!!!" She whacked away the arm, and sighed "What can I do to get rid of you?"

Mai's eyes twinkled a little at sudden change of attitude, and then she smiled.

"Alright, alright..." She rubbed her temples and sighed. "You win... I'm gay, okay? Now, will you go away?!"

"Ara," hummed a sweet voice. "You are?" Natsuki snapped her head behind her, stumbling backwards.

"Sh-shi-shizuru.." Her face turned bright red; the beginning of a full body blush.

"My Natsuki just came out, and right in front of my door, too." She covered her mouth to hide her giggle.

With a loud thud, the tomato collapsed face first into the floor.

"Natsuki!!" squealed Mai, kneeling down to check the unconscious girl.

"Oh, Mai," Shizuru mused, getting Mai to look up. "She'll be fine. Just help me get her into my room."

The redhead nodded, grabbing and lifting her onto her back, and then into the room. Once she deposited the tomato onto the bed, she turned to face the very excited brunette.

"So, hum..." Mai sheepishly rubbed the back of her head.

"Oh, right." Shizuru practically skipped to her desk, opening it and retrieving an envelope. "Here." She handed it to her.

Mai quickly scanned it's contents and smiled. "A pleasure doing business with ya." She ran out of the room before she could witness something that would haunt her dreams.

She was halfway down the stairs when a bright grin made its way onto her lips, accompanied by a loud moan.

"SHIZURUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the oneshot.**

**Also, an Omake for added fun.  
**

**Jquackers:** *tiptoeing through the halls that were echoing moans, stopping in front of the source*

**Ume: **Ahem. *tapping foot, arms crossed*

**Jquackers:** *sweatdrops, smiling and laughing sheepishly*

**Ume:** You know better than this. *grabs jquackers by ear*

**Jquackers: **OW OW OW!!! *struggles* I wasn't doing anything!

**Ume:** Yeah, sure. And that camera in your pocket is fake, huh? *still dragging Jquackers*

**Jquackers: **Aww, come on! Nao was gonna pay good money!

**Ume: ***stops and releases* You're kidding right? First, you're too young to watch reenactments of animal planet, and second... What the HELL are you thinking, taking a bribe from Nao?!

**Jquackers: **Huh? *confused* Nao said...

**Ume: **Oh, good gosh! Do you know what happen the last time she tried to get a picture of those two? *hands copy of Evidence Under the Rug*

**Jquackers:** *reads* X.X *shock sets in* WHAT!!!!

**Ume:** *smacks forehead*

**Jquackers:** *rummages in packets, pulls out gun* Ah HA!!

**Ume: ***sweat drop, grabs Jquackers arm* Put the gun down!

**Jquackers:** NO!!! *red-faced with anger*

**Ume:** I'm not going to let you get yourself killed!

**Jquackers:** Huh?

**Ume:** You idiot! Julia, duh!

**Jquackers: ***turns white*


End file.
